Exam time

I don't like quizzes I dont like tests and I sure as hell don't like exams, but for whatever reason, my family is going through 2 months of continuous tests.

Our grandfather had a stroke last saturday morning.

I've been spending the better part of my time either at a hospital or with family.
Emily has came up a couple of times (in her ghetto van... har har) to spend time.

He's dying of a broken heart. God how I'd want to experience what they had together, it's my ultimate goal in life.

He's back in Monroe now at the place where him and my grandmother lived, and he is more than likely going to slowly slip away. As he sat by my grandma's side through her last years he made it clear that he didn't want any form of feeding or breathing tubes, no surgery, nothing. He wants to go when he is supposed to go. The priest came in Saturday afternoon to give last rites, and he cried when my grandmas name was mentioned, I've never seen that in my life. Heavy and raw, that was pure love. So intense.

My life is on hold right now as things unfold. Normally I'd pray for him to hang on but really I want him to be happy and pain free.

Em seems ok, and she stole another shirt when she was up here in Madison, pretty typical. Talked to her kids yesterday, they wanted me to take them to a park, but I dont think they realize i'm an hour away with no car... otherwise we'd be on our way.

..home.

Is where i'm at.
God what a feeling. Non-replaceable. I suprised Em and the kids by showing up and giving them yen, I was greeted with a running start pushover hug from three kids that slammed me onto the couch that was needed behind me. Hell yeah.

She still looks good, she's still wearing my clothes I let her 'borrow' last time I was home. I've grown to realize I'll never see them again. I think I'll live :)

I'm living in Madison with a great 'ol friend and her friend. I'm lucky, again, to have people helping me out. Everyone should keep thier chins up, bad shit can only be turned around. Now i'm hustling for jobs, walking everywhere, etc. It's nice to not know what the hell tomorrow will bring. I dig it. Emily said something about bringing the kids up to madison soon to the zoo, I think that would be an awesome idea.. and adventure for sure.

I helped her fill out her FAFSA when I was home last time, and I got an email for her to renew it for the school year, I really hope she sticks to this idea this time. ooooo and I found her a potential job! A lady outside of monroe needs a helper/caregiver, and since Em is a CNA and can't find online jobs without a computer, i figured i'd email the lady and let her know to call me if she was interested in meeting my sister.


She still needs to get her damn driving license. Dork.

Konnichiwa (sp?)

I'm sitting here in what was expected to be no bigger than two coffins, watching planes take off and land in Narita Japan.

Everyone should travel on thier birthdays. I was delivered a free (but not optimal tasting) bottle of champagne on the plane, and the room I have at the airport is HUGE!!! A good friend scared the shit out of me last night when he described the size. It's like throwing a spider at an arachnaphobic. But, he's cool so it's ok.

Called emily yesterday, she and the kids are stoked to see me, I have a measly 1000yen left, I'm going to save it and give it to my nephew Alex for his 3rd birthday, after, of course, an updated mohawk haircut when I get home.

I love being an Aunt
:)

cheers to birthdays and safe travels.

As Robin Williams said in the beginning of "Patch Adams" .. which i'm watching now..
All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home.

How f'n true.
I'm on my way.

Get a move on!

In 12 hours I'm going to be wondering if I forgot anything since I'll need to be at the airport to check in 2 hours after. INSANE.... This is all becoming reality. My best friend from middle school is helping me out with a huge beautiful place to live until I'm on my feet. Thanks to her my clothes are already up in the closet.. lol. I've got interviews lined up waiting for my arrival. I've got friends planning my bday celebration (I fly in that very night.)

Things are happening. It's a really intense feeling.

This time tomorrow I am going to be sitting in Japan somewhere, during a long long layover, reading a book, eating sushi, maybe sleeping.

Time for changes. I'm ready. Called Em just a minute ago, she says "happy birthday" between cigarette breathes. I told her she's early because it's not until midnight, she then asked if she could call me later since she'll have free minutes when it actaully is my birthday so she will be able to wish me a better one. What a dork. Can't wait..

I'm scared to go home and see my grandfather without my grandmother. I'm scared to see Emily and try to not react if she's had any progression in her disease.

Me leaving Guam is a big thing, I wanted to live here forever. I didn't plan any type of going away party or birthday thing. My friends came together recently enough for my fundraisers, and I've spent time around those that mean the most to me, so I'm content. Now I get to be able to see that whole group of other people who mean something to me, at home.

Maybe since it's my birthday I can be bumped up to first class? That would be neat.

I'll update this from Japan, but for now, hafa adai. Goodbye Guam.